Meeting God in the Woods

I have been going to a place in the woods called “The Mystic Trace Retreat Center”. It is a lovely place, perfect for getting alone with your thoughts and being open to the voice of God. The director of the center provides a lovely cabin, deep in the woods. The walls are cedar, beautiful flooring, nicely furnished. The surprise, no running water and an outhouse around twenty yards from the entrance. It is you and the woods and God. While I am here, I am able to meet with the director about four to five times. It is great to talk with someone about my spirituality. On the last day of my stay I found myself struggling with some of the basics of spirituality. Why would God love me? and What do I do with God when or if He shows up on the scene? It was out of a deep searching for understanding that I wrote this piece. I am sitting on the front porch of the cabin in a red camping chair, a friendly black dog by my side and a cup of black coffee ready to be sipped, lost in my thoughts, feeling good about life and good about being here. I am looking out to what seems like an endless ocean of green trees. Everywhere I look I see trees. Without a breeze they seem to be standing at attention. As I look I see the Creator’s handiwork. I can’t imagine how many animals, birds, and insects live under the protection of these trees. The genius behind it all leaves me in awe. As I take a broad look across the land, I quickly realize that this isn’t a perfect environment. I see oddly shaped trees, trees with broken branches and dead limbs hanging down. I see trees missing most of their branches. I see trees with too many branches on one side and too few on another. I see one tree that looks like it had a bad hair day. It has a look of deformity. It looks like it has too much growth and stunted growth all at the same time. At the foot of the tree I see a bench sitting a little off center from the trunk of the tree, and a very small tree growing just behind it. The small tree brings attention to all the brown dying branches in the larger tree surrounding it. As the sun rises, I seem to see just as much brown as I see green. I think I will sit on the bench under the tree, just to get a little closer to God’s creation. As I sit here, I realize that this tree could be my twin brother. I too feel deformed and full of brown, half dead branches. Sitting on this bench I wonder, would God want to sit here with me and the tree in the cool of the day as the sun rises? If He did show up, what would I do with God? What would I say? What might He say to me? Why would I want to meet with God anyways? What is the point of such a meeting? Why would He want to meet with me? Would he show up to tell me His will for His people? Oh, that’s right, at the moment I am not a pastor. I don’t have anyone to serve or minister to. So, for what purpose are we meeting together under this green and brown deformed looking tree? If God would show up under this imperfect tree, would he sit beside this imperfect man? Now that He is here, what do I do with God? As I look into His eyes I am speechless and I realize I do not have an answer. He isn’t here to hear a list of needs or concerns. He isn’t here to tell me everything will be alright. He is sitting under the imperfect tree, next to an imperfect man waiting for something. What? Why are we here? God seems to be revealing to me a truth I need to hear. God is not bothered by my imperfections any more than He is bothered by the imperfections of the woods. The only thing on His mind is spending time in the woods with an imperfect man like me. Instead of focusing on the imperfections, I need to focus on God. I am realizing that I have been hiding in the woods like Adam and Eve hid in the garden. I have spent a life time feeling unworthy of being in God’s presence, wasting time feeling a need to hide from Him. All this time God’s only interest was a relationship with me. I could have benefited from spending more time with Him. I know it’s not too late for me. I wonder what will happen to the imperfect man in the future, after spending more time with God?

THE UNAVOIDABLE PATHWAYS

Are there some pathways in life that even God can’t protect us from?  I ask myself this question as I anticipate starting my day at the bedside of my sister-in-law who is facing major surgery.  I am heartbroken as I recognize that the next chapter in her life cannot be avoided.  No miracle is coming her way.  Today, she will walk the path of surgery totally dependent on the skills of her Doctor.

As I drove the seven to eight miles to the hospital, I wondered how I might pray for her when I arrived.  A thought came to me, “What can God do for a person on the unavoidable pathways of life?”  My sister-in-law had already been down some rocky paths—she faced them with great courage.  God always gives all the provisions we need for the trip.  What kind of provisions does He give?  I will offer a few things as examples:  the love of God, peace of mind, the power of God, endurance, family and friends, joy, and courage.  The provisions of God will support her on her unavoidable pathway of surgery.

What is the life lesson for me?  I too have been down some paths I would have preferred to avoid if given the choice.  I have spent many difficult days wondering why God didn’t spare me from the pain.  Does He really care?  Can He not lift a finger to fight against injustice?    There are some paths even God can’t protect me from, especially in ministry.  If God is present, what is He doing when I find myself walking the unavoidable pathway?  He is giving me all the provisions I need for the trip.  The right provisions—God’s provisions—will carry me through the unavoidable pathways of my life.

My biggest struggle in the past centers in the way I chose to define God.  I defined Him as my protector and when He didn’t protect me or act in the way I thought He should, I found myself confused.  He did not seem to show up on the scene when I needed Him.  I took the blows.  I endured the pain.  I tried to keep doing the right thing.  Yet, I felt abandoned by God because I felt He wasn’t doing what I thought He was suppose to be doing.  Does His (seemingly) absence somehow make Him something less?   I thought God was my avenger, but He did not choose to aveng my “enemies”.  They slander me and He does nothing to protect my good name.

God doesn’t always do what I think He is suppose to do.  For example, I am unable to live according to the law of Moses or the expectations of Christ.  If God is the righteous judge I think He is then I deserve punishment for my sins.  The wages of sin is death.  I am glad He chooses not to give me what I deserve.  When God doesn’t act like I think He should, does this take away from His essence or nature?  No!  What is the nature or essence of God?  He is creative and self-directed, loving and personal, relational and people focused, all-knowing, all-powerul, righteous, etc.  He knows the right thing to do and does it no matter what the cost, no matter how a person might define Him.

I realize now, that just because a few individuals chose to define me in a certain way, this did not change my essence either.  I am still loving and kind, caring and serving.  People can’t change my essence, and I can’t always change the way people choose to define me.  I am glad that God never loses His essence.  I am glad that I can be me.

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

The small church environment is a wonderful place to raise a family and invest a life.  You can love and be loved, grow and help others grow, mourn and help others who mourn, serve and be served, etc.  Meaningful relationships can be found if you choose to get connected.

The challenge for people committed to the small church arena comes with the reverberation of unrealistic expectations.  Opinions and beliefs can easily be presented and heard.  If we are not careful, we will try to create people according to our own desires.

The imperfect pastor will feel the weight of unrealistic expectations the most.  They can crush the imperfect pastor, who will always fall short in the eyes of the people.  Glen Daman states in his informative book called, Leading the Small Church, “There has never been a single person in ministry who is perfectly qualified and without blemish (Luke 17:10; 1 Tim 1:15-16; 1 Cor 15:9-11).”  The church is not a place for perfect people.  The pastor must learn to accept his/her own imperfections as well as the imperfections of the people.

We all have unresolved personal issues that sometimes affect the small church arena in a negative way.  How do we keep this from happening over and over again?  Can we keep this from happening?  Imperfections must be allowed through the doorway of the small church, yet, they must not be allowed to bring destruction or harm.  Pretending to be perfect must be discouraged so that we can face our personal issues so that we might grow and be transformed.

We are needy people who need each other.  Let us accept the imperfections as we seek to discover Jesus—His heart, His character, His mission.

Pastoral Interview/George Costa

george-costa.mp3

Book Review/Simple Changes

Wicks, Robert J. Simple Changes: Overcoming Barriers to Personal and Professional Growth. Sorin Books, Notre Dame, IN. 2000.

One of the most profitable aspects of the book is the thoughts and questions for reflection presented in the last several chapters of the book. Like the tools in the hands of a finished carpenter, these thoughts and questions Wicks presents will help a person process through personal change. Also in the back of the book Wicks offers the reader an “At-Home 30-Day Retreat”. It is a reflective tool for the person wanting to look broadly on their life. The following is a number of quotes that I found helpful in my own personal reading. This is not a Christian book, so you will need to over look a few things. Wicks has a lot to offer a person seeking personal transformation. By the way, it is an easy read.

Book Review/Pastors In Pain

Preston, Gary. Pastors in Pain: How to Grow in Times of Conflict. Baker Books: Grand Rapids, Michigan. 1999.

If you are looking for a book of answers on how to work through pain in ministry, this is not the one. He gives no lists, you will find no charts, no image of any kind. Yet, when Preston tells his story of pain, he quickly connects with the reader, helping the pastor begin processing through his or her own pain. He gives the reader a vision of a day when the pain will be no more.

Book Review/Before You Quit

Allen, Blaine. Before You Quit: When Ministry Is Not What You Thought, Kregel Publications: Grand Rapids, MI. 2001.

When I read a book, I no longer read it just for myself, I read it for other small church pastors who might need to hear a message from the author. I try to carry the experience of the small church pastor into the reading as I listen carefully to the writer. After reading the back cover, I am drawn instantly to the book.

Randy’s Passion

Robin Chaddock in Discovering Your Divine Assignment: A Step-by-Step Plan for Living Out Your Purpose, tells about a business trip she took with her family.

“I once had the opportunity to go to Disney World on a business trip with a company for whom I was a sales trainer. I learned something very interesting about a particular type of Disney park employee. Disney employs individuals for the sole purpose of looking for crying children and giving them a sticker or other little token to help them cheer up. When my family joined me a few days later, I saw this concept in action. During a walk down the main street of MGM, my daughter, Madison, who was six at the time, was crying because we weren’t purchasing a hat she wanted. Sure enough, nearly out of the woodwork came this costumed starlet wannabe who invited Madison to sit down on a bench with her. Once they were seated, the starlet handed Madison a play $100 bill and told her to buy herself a smile. The only job this starlet did for the Disney company was to seek out and find crying children and help them feel better.

One passion I have is to seek out crying pastors and help them feel better about life and ministry. I want to sit with the hurting pastor to offer hope and friendship. Their tears must not go unnoticed.

Your Life’s Path

Ewing, Diane. Your Life’s Path: Discovering and Fulfilling Your Destiny. USA, Booklocker.com, Inc. 2007.

In Ewing’s book are a number of worthy quotes for the benefit of the reader. She also offers assessment tools for helping a person discover his or her true destiny.

• When it comes to personal transformation, Ewing has a philosophy that says, “just start where you are and the rest will follow.” p. 3

• Speaking on personal transformation, Ewing says, “It is about realigning your true self with your personal goals so that you can live your life to your fullest potential and share all of your special gifts and talents with the world in the most fulfilling way possible. p. 4

• Speaking on identity, Ewing says, “Your personality traits have played their role and fate has played its part. The actions you have taken based on decisions you made along the way have helped you become who you are today. Everyone’s path is unique, and there are no mistakes in life-only decisions, circumstance and outcomes. p. 29

• Speaking on awareness of where you are today, Ewing says, “Your life in its present form represents the sum total of all of your experiences to date. It is the starting point to gain a greater understanding for what is working in your life and what you would like to change. p. 37 (She uses a butterfly emerging from a cocoon to illustrate her point)

• Speaking on having a sense of urgency on the transformational journey, Ewing says, “The moments that make up each day are important in achieving your goals, so it is important that you make each moment count. Moments make up hours and hours comprise days and weeks and months and years. These are the moments of your life.” p. 72

The Transformational Leader

The established church leader of the 21^st century will take risks in order to help position the church for maximum impact for the kingdom of God. To lead the established church through change he will need to be bold and cautious at the same time-bold enough to share the larger vision of the future with the people, cautious enough to pursue the future at the right pace and level of commitment. Glen Daman in an article in Enrichment entitled The Necessity of Leadership in the Smaller Congregation, comments: